Marrying a good person is essential, but having good and kind in-laws is just as necessary for a good married life. While some people are blessed with in-laws who treat them like their own children, others are stuck with narcissistic personalities. Dealing with narcissistic people can severely damage your mental health as well as your marriage.
We cannot change personalities with only our words, and there’s probably not much you can do to change your in-laws’ behaviors toward you. But, you can do certain things to protect yourself, your spouse, and the marriage. However, if your in-laws have already damaged your marriage, a salt lake city divorce lawyer is here for you.
Tips for coping with narcissistic in-laws after marriage
Understanding and acceptance.
This step may be difficult for some, but the more you read and understand about narcissistic personalities, the more you know why they behave the way they do. You could try reading books, articles on the Internet, listening to podcasts, or watching movies to identify ways your in-law’s narcissism shows up.
Know what to expect.
Learning about NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) can make one understand the condition, and thus, you will know what exactly to expect from them. By doing this, you can learn to deal with their limitations rather than enabling their behavior.
Become less accessible.
Remember that you did not marry to tolerate insults and injustice. By becoming less available to your in-laws, you set healthy boundaries and give them fewer chances to impact your mental health. The more you confront her about her behavior, the more it will cost your mental health, as you cannot win with a narcissist.
Support your spouse.
Remember that your spouse grew up with your in-laws. Therefore, they may not know anything other than having narcissistic parents. They may have difficulty understanding that their behavior is not normal and get stuck in the middle. Blaming your spouse for taking their parents’ side or not taking any sides at all will create even more tension. The best thing to do is to show your spouse a loving relationship than they have with their parents.
Do not take it personally.
When you learn about NPD, you will know that a narcissistic person only aims to manipulate you by pushing your buttons or provoking you. Avoid getting angry and remain calm and collected during all your conversations with your in-laws. It is also helpful to remember that their behavior is part of a disorder and has nothing to do with you personally.
Not everyone has the patience level to deal with narcissistic people. Enduring hurtful words by your very own in-laws can damage your mental health and make it impossible to stay married. If NPD has already ruined your relationship with your spouse, you can consider divorce with the help of a lawyer.